9 steps on How to Rebuild a Marriage

Rebuilding your marriage takes time and consideration for your spouse. It's an undertaking that requires the efforts of both parties. If you are looking for the steps to rebuild a marriage, consider the following suggestions.
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Steps
1
Sit down with your spouse and come up with some rules.If you and your spouse are having problems in your marriage but you both want to make it work, establish some methods in which you can manage your conflicts. Oftentimes, it is during these moments of struggle that couples damage their relationship. If you are both serious about fixing your marriage, then you should be prepared and willing to find ways in which you can improve certain negative areas in your life.
2
Don't be so concerned about being right in an argument with your spouse.Ask yourself if it's really important that you prove you are right in a disagreement. If you feel that proving you are right will benefit the relationship, then put forth your justification in a calm manner. If proving you are right is for your own benefit and will likely cause further conflict, consider dropping the desire to be right and work on healing the situation.
3
Take a moment to calm down if a situation gets heated.If you are finding that most disagreements spiral into heated arguments easily, then opt for a time-out from the situation. Make an agreement with your husband that in an argument one or the other can call a time-out. Decide on the terms of a time-out so that neither you nor your spouse feel rejected or ignored. For example, establish how long a time-out can take. If you come to an agreement when everything is calm, then you will be able to manage your disagreements and keep them under control.
4
Be open about your emotions.You and your spouse need to agree that you can reveal your emotions. Therefore, if you are angry about something that took place, you should be able to open up to your spouse, explaining the situation and why you felt that way. In return, your spouse needs to acknowledge these emotions and promise to consider them. You spouse can agree or disagree about your justification, but either way, you need to both come to some conclusion that satisfies both of you.
5
Never point the finger.In conversation, avoid blaming the other person or putting words in their mouth. "We," is usually more accepted and your spouse won't feel attacked or criticized. For example, "We should make a better effort at being kinder to each other," will likely be accepted better than, "You should make a better effort at being kinder to me."
6
Focus on self-improvement rather than how you can fix your spouse.Think about all the ways that you can make your marriage better, and start making those changes. Just like your spouse cannot make you change, you cannot change your spouse. A spouse, who recognizes that strides are being made by their partner to improve the marriage, will likely make personal efforts to do better.
7
Avoid dredging up the past.If there is a conflict in the past that was never resolved, then resolve it and then let it go. If you and your spouse don't forgive each other for past injuries, then you can never move forward in your marriage.
8
Accept who your spouse is if you want to stay married.You cannot change your spouse. If you decide you want to stay together, then you have to acknowledge who that person is and don't complain about it. Take the good with the bad, assuming that the bad is no more than a bad habit. Note that this does not apply in the case of infidelity or domestic abuse.
9
Start dating again.You and your spouse have likely changed over the years, so take the time to learn who that person is. Dating will also give you the opportunity to remind you why you both fell in love in the first place. Consider taking up a hobby that you can both enjoy together, such as ballroom dancing, bowling or taking a cooking class.