How to Calm an Angry Person-naijaview

Calming an angry person requires a lot of patience. When someone’s feeling heated up, hearing the words “calm down” may just make matters worse. Being a good listener and offering some good distractions can both help. However, when someone’s anger is explosive or unpredictable, walk away instead of attempting to use reason.
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Part One of Four:
Remaining Calm
1
Avoid a fight.When someone else is at a boiling point, getting equally angry is only going to make matters worse. Focus on keeping yourself calm, or else the situation might quickly spiral into an argument. This is not to say you should act completely unemotional, but try not to let your own feelings get too heated.
*.A way to remain neutral is to let go of your own ego and not take things personally. [1]It can be natural to respond to an angry person by defending yourself or your reputation, but it’s important to remember that someone who is very angry cannot be reasoned with until they have calmed down. [2]
2
Try not to get defensive.When someone’s so mad they can barely speak in a level tone, it’s easy to absorb that negativity and feel defensive. When you’re communicating with someone who is angry, realize that the anger is likely not about you. [3] [4]Separate the person’s emotions from your own so you can be there for the person without feeling the anger is directed toward you.
3
Stay in the present.People who are angry will often bring up situations or conversations from the past, particularly if they are trying to draw you into their anger. [5]Try to counteract that by keeping them focused on the present situation and solving a solution to the current problem. Don’t let yourself get drawn in to feeling angry about past events.
*.If the conversation seems to be drifting towards past events, try saying something like, “We can talk about that later. I think right now, we should focus on what is immediately upsetting you and finding a solution to that problem. Let’s take one thing at a time.”
4
Stay calm and quiet.If someone is yelling or venting, you can decide to let them vent to blow off steam, but the best thing for you to do is to remain quiet or to say nothing. If you do speak, keep a quiet level voice. If you remain quiet, try to keep a neutral facial expression and open body language. You remain in more control if you do not react to the “bait” of the person yelling. [6]
*.There is a difference between letting someone vent and being the victim of verbal abuse. If the person is berating you, calling you names, or directing unrelated anger towards you, you may want to make a statement such as, “I understand that you are frustrated and I would like to be here for you. But please do not take your anger out on me.”